As long as there has been business there have been shysters.

Aside from "Nigerian Princes" and penis pill salesmen, we artists tend to attract a less than malicious crowd of wannabes hoping to cash in off our hard work. It's unavoidable, but most people think this stuff is so easy that we would do it for them for free if we only had the chance. I love to hear these stories because they build a wonderful bridge of shared experience between professional artists. Here's my most recent:

"Hey there! Awesome gallery man! I'd like to ask you if we could use your pics in our game. Of course your trouble will be rewarded as asoon*obligatory spelling error* as we publish the game. We do not want the copyrights so you can use those pics wherever you like except from an another game that is, and we will pay you just for the use of them $xxx.xx (depending on our sales income) for each.

Well, I hope to hear from you soon, *insert name here*."

This one is one of those wannabe game makers who are under the delusion that you make a TCG or RPG by hiring the artists first and the bankers last. I love these guys because they embody that terrible idea we've all had. I've paraphrased a bit to keep it punchy, but all the quotes are real.

Me: "The 'I’ll Gladly Pay You Tomorrow for a Hamburger Today' system isn't a good one."

Him: "Well the other artsits didn't mind..."

Me: "If they want to give away their art, then that is their choice. I'm just saying that you can buy my art from me with money, not promises."

Him: "Since we aren't using their pics yet = no profit, why would we pay for them?"

Me: "Rather than get snarky with me you can read up on the matter. *link to book on art pricing and ethics* Then you can apologize for acting like an idiot."

Him: "I like beeing an idiot so why apologize?"

WOW! "I like beeing an idiot so why apologize?" I've never gotten a quote so good out of one of these guys before. I mean, are these kids putting this stuff together? Or just very dumb adults?

Who's the latest greatest failure in your inbox?